Tied to the Shell.

Driving through the place I once knew. At all points in my life I have been on this same highway. And I'm on another one of those 'what the hell is going on' trips. I've been in a permanent existential crisis for as long as I can remember, sprinkled with moments of clarity. I never know what I am doing. I am feeling certifiable. Terrified of committing to anything. Living by avoiding and avoiding living. But boy am I brave. Frightened to death but always hold my cool. Safe in my shell I freak out, I hide out. I scream to everyone "Go away!!! No wait, come back!!! Don't leave me alone...don't leave but don't come in...." Can't be tied to anything but that shell.

Walls Sometimes Tell Stories.

A single yellow glimmer of light guiding me through the trees. A shiver begins to slither, up my spine as the breeze chills the leaves. I look up ahead at the shadowy figure and you shush me when I turn back at you. I follow your finger from your lips as you extend. An owl coos as the crickets hum and I feel my heart lurch in my chest. And thump emblazoned in my memory. From here throughout eternity. Innocent but I still carried that guilt home with me. These hands are clean. I packaged up the pain with a nice little bow and sent it to him in Idaho. 

I wish I could see the look on his face when he sees the moon has returned to her place in the sky, no longer hidden by shame. 

My eyes caught her gaze and she rained down forgiveness on me. I bribe the grandfather clock and he returns my lost time to me. But he added it on to the end. A spliff to come at sunrise and a glass of bourbon. That should take care of that. i soak every last drop of it in. The sun surrounds me and I fall into a dream. Parts of you floating surround me. I put you back together and we fly across the sea. I've got everything. That's when it hits me that I'm sleeping. The rain pulls me into the sea and my eyes open.

The Anchor.

What is this life? I am laying in bed it's 6:24 am. I've been up for an hour and a half already. Crows are calling outside. I hear them. I get the feeling now that none of this is real. Walking down the street, talking to people, I feel so removed. That says it. Removed. I don't think I am disengaged, just disconnected. It's like I am mostly in another dimension and this is just a projection so that it appears that I am here in this dimension but really I am not. It's just an illusion.

Then I hear the window shatter.  I  am thrust back into this world. A hand on my skin. Anticipation. I hear myself breathing. The pane of my vision expanding. My heart growing.

And I am covered in your melodies...going in and in and on and on...just the gravity I was looking for...